connected

recently, ive been thinking about friends and friendships, specifically my own, and my history.

it could be because i dont really have close friends really here in ft. worth, and i'm losing touch with some of my closest friends...

but i was starting to question some things...

and i came to the following conclusions:
1. i do indeed have a good set of quality BFFs that go above and beyond the call of duty.
2. even moreso, i do have a plethora of good friends that even when going months without speaking to each other through any format, still really care about my life and are very interested in how i am doing. they still cherish any memories we have had, and will pray for me at the drop of a hat.
3. i should consider it a good thing that i even have several acquaintances, with the help of social networking sites have been able to keep in touch. sometimes this makes me feel bad, because i have hundreds of friends and yet go weeks without anybody leaving their mark on my sites... but i realize that these people still are interested in my life, even in the smallest bit. even the occasional page-view allows them to see what im doing with myself and keep updated. if they didnt care at all, they would never have added me. i say this, because i know its true about how i feel about them. i may not comment, but i do read the bulletins, look through pictures, read "about me" and smile knowing i'm able to keep in touch with somebody from my past...

and that renewed my general self-esteem as well as my self-efficacy. sometimes when im feeling lonely, i tend to cling to a few people in order to get validation... but knowing that people out there love me, even just the tiniest bit, is all i need to believe in myself. by believing in myself, im allowing myself to have healthier relationships with the friends i do have. its a nice cycle (when its working, cause when its not, it works backwards... not good).

thanks ya'll