sneak peak

soo I've had an unexpected week off due to the swine flu, and despite my high expectations, I really kind of wasted it.

well... not entirely. I'm hoping to compile a list of all the fun things I did the past two weeks and it's going to looooong (adding in the productive things I DID get done)....

but in general, I wasted way too much time. Whether it was sleeping in, goofing off online, watching tv, etc... I could have gotten WAY more done.

In any given week, my productively level is off the charts. But actually give me time to get stuff done annnddd nothing. Even if you look at my list of what I've done, you'll see some of it was complete fluff (watching 10 movies, for instance, and TONS of soaps - but good ones, like BH 90210 and the o.c.).

And I hate myself at 2am. I actually hate the person I become and the lifestyle I choose at 2am. This is something I've dealt with all my life - I'm a night person. But during a 9-5 week, I can balance the night person with the day job... when you take out the day job, I just become one of them, the night people... and the only thing that matters is the loneliness and despair of night where the only thing I can do is dwell on my thoughts and clean out my DVR. it's a pathetic existence, but the pattern begins and sucks me in before I can just say no.

I must return to work on Thursday, and honestly I'm a bit upset by the awful timing. But I will be grateful for routine again. Last summer, the only thing that kept me sane was a part-time job... this summer, I have no such luck (purposefully)...

and if this week is a sneak peak into the meek and bleak existence of this summer, I may need to tweak my routines just a bit (did you like the rhyming, lol)... because I can't let myself turn into a night person. she's a monster that keeps me from living life abundantly.